LOVE-7 ways Of knowing That You Are In love.
This post is written in LOVE, a synopsis of what we owe ourselves as we proceed in the journey of life. it is the basic ingredient for a fruit and better relationship.
Attraction Is An Emotion- Love Is A Feeling
Attraction is an emotion based on “likeness” while Love is a feeling that drives us to get outside ourselves and give it all unconditionally to the other person we love
All religious faith embrace the above definition. This unconditional “giving” of ourselves, consequently brings Joy, Happiness, and Sense of fulfillment and security of having someone who truly shares our burden and on whose shoulder we can rest our weary soul. It is always a beautiful thing only if we can identify this feeling inherent in us and harness its life-giving abilities.
Life-Giving Ability Of Love
In addition to other qualities of love, it also has a life-giving ability. This is one of the many definitions of “Virtue” or Qualities of a person in love. Our ability to be honest regarding our feelings and its expressions. Reflecting on the state of our modern day relationship, can we say love is operational in it. Do we have men and women who are honest is their reason(s) for being in a relationship or are these relationships based on selfish desires? Or are they based on True Love?
In most of our modern day relationships, be it romantic or platonic, honesty is a lonely word, as in the title of a song written by Elton John. “Everyone is so UNTRUE, the song concluded. Sometimes, it is not an intentional act of dishonesty but our inability to identify the type of emotions or feeling within us. Well, it becomes a dishonest act if we profess love when it is not. Lastly, a glaring act of dishonest is when an individual enters into a romantic relationship with selfish reasons of lust or material gain.
Identifying The Feeling Within- Is it Love or Something Else?.
The starting point in developing any relationship with other people is identifying the type of emotions or feelings you have for them. Not all emotions or feelings are conducive to establishing romantic relationships. For instance, some emotions or feelings can only lead to the formation of a platonic friendship and not a romantic relationship. This type of relationship has its own abiding qualities and rules of engagement. For any type of relationship to be successful, the feelings involved must also be shared by the other party involved, and there must always be the element of trust.
The only basis for entering into a romantic relationship is when two individuals of the opposite sex have a feeling of LOVE for one another. There must be mutuality in their feelings for one another.
What is the Difference Between Attraction and Love?
The word LOVE is often used for all forms of “attraction” to another person or object. Ironically it’s not always correct. While you can have an attraction for someone you love, you don’t always have the feeling of love for people you are attracted to. Attraction is an Emotions. Love is a Feeling.
Attraction is an emotion which may or may not develop into love. It is an animalistic urge that draws us to what we like. This is the function of a structure in the brain called the AMYGDALA. This structure gives us the emotional significance or interpretation of everything we perceive with our five sense organs (Eyes Nose, Skin, Tongue Ears). In addition, the amygdala also warns of an impending danger and prepares our body to fight or run away from the approaching danger.
In most cases of human attraction, especially to the person of the opposite sex, we often confuse this emotion of an initial attraction with the feeling of being in-love. We erroneously proclaim it on the mountaintop that we are in love. Do you know that it takes approximately 90 seconds to develop an attraction for someone? Ironically most people have built their entire livelihood on this flimsy initial emotion, what a tragedy.
The emotion of attraction has a tendency to develop and grow stronger with time, especially if the opposite sex has other qualities we find attractive such as their sexual prowess. This typical scenario is usually observed when the partner finds themselves to be sexually compatible and there is the frequent exchange of the amorous word, “I am in-love with you” during the sexual escapades. Sex becomes equated with love!
PHILEO And True Love
Relationships based on physical attraction is a conditional one. The “attraction” that binds you to the person or object always fades away. That is the natural law of phileo. It follows the law of physics that says everything that goes up must come down. It is therefore not surprising that after the honeymoon phase of a relationship based on phileo, the dragon always raises his/her head. The decision to go apart becomes very difficult because a state of co-dependency has already set in. Separation becomes even more difficult if a child is born to the union. It is also known that the reason for the attraction tends to diminish with time and may fade away; the individual loses their glamor and swag with age and the sexual prowess is no longer there. Sometimes, and sad to say, the object of attraction may be a material gain or the need to belong into the cliché of the attached. What a tragedy!
HOW DO I KNOW THAT HE/SHE LOVES ME
EROS – The True Love
As opposed to the emotion of Phileo which is based on physical “attraction”, Eros is a feeling (not just an emotion) which is capable of generating a spiritual binding force between the couple. Hence when it goes up, it never falls down. If you fall in love with somebody, you can never fall out of love with that person. Ironically, not everyone is fortunate enough to marry the person they are in-love with. Love is a spiritual force created by God for the purpose of marriage and procreation.
Love Has The Following 7 Characteristics.
• The desire to want friends and family to like them.
• The joy of wanting to celebrate the triumphs and achievements of their partner even when they themselves are not achieving the same.
• You definitely “like” this person in all ramifications and the person like you also.
• You have a better “sense of self” a feeling that you are somebody
• You get JEALOUS when the relationship is threatened –but NOT SUSPICIOUS irrationally
• You really miss this person when you are apart.
• You always strive to protect your partner with all available means within your reach.
This post is not intended to dissuade any individual regarding their already made decision especially if they are already married. It is intended for those at the crossroad of decision making as to a guideway forward. A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage.